How to Eat an Elephant
"How do you eat an elephant?"
"One bite at a time."
We've all heard the saying. But when it comes to real change — whether in life, leadership, or work — we tend to forget just how true it is.
Every week, someone asks me a version of the same question:
"How do I make a change?"
It could be personal: lose weight, exercise, learn a skill.
Or professional: lead a digital transformation, shift to Agile, improve team performance.
The details vary, but the heart of the question is the same: how do I make meaningful change without burning everything down?
Here’s the hard truth: Big change rarely sticks.
Not because people are lazy or unmotivated, but because our brains are wired to see change — especially sudden, sweeping change — as a threat. Whether it's your own mind resisting a new habit or an entire company pushing back against a transformation, the instinct is the same: protect the status quo.
Sure, if you're the CEO, you can force change.
You can mandate a return to office after years of successful remote work.
You can announce a new process and expect compliance.
But let’s be honest — that’s not leadership. That’s command.
And command doesn’t build trust, buy-in, or long-term success.
Most of the time, real change — the kind that lasts — isn’t imposed.
It’s influenced.
And influence starts with small, deliberate actions that don’t trigger resistance.
Let me give you two examples — one personal, one professional.
The French Fry Resolution
About a year and a half ago, I made a single decision:
No more French fries.
That’s it.
I didn’t announce a new diet. I didn’t ban fried food, carbs, or sugar. Just fries.
I love fries, by the way. But this wasn’t about deprivation. It was about training my brain — slowly. One small change that didn’t feel like an existential threat. Over time, my brain adjusted. No drama. No rebellion. Months later, I expanded it to all fried food. Still no resistance.
One bite at a time.
The Promotion Process Overhaul
At work, I was tasked with reworking the promotion process for an entire organization. I had the authority to roll out a new process with top-down directives.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I joined the existing process. I watched. I listened.
Then I made a small suggestion:
"What if we asked a principal engineer to evaluate technical bar instead of debating it endlessly in group meetings?"
It worked.
So I made another suggestion. Then another.
Six months later, the whole process had quietly evolved — not because I forced it, but because the team trusted it.
One step at a time.
If you must make immediate change — make it.
But whenever possible, build your elephant meal one bite at a time:
Break the change into phases.
Define success criteria for each phase.
Measure and show results.
Be willing to admit when something doesn’t work.
Let your vulnerability earn trust.
Whether you’re changing a habit, influencing a team, or transforming a company — remember this:
Big change begins with small steps.
Start with something so small, your brain (or team) doesn’t even register it as a threat.
Now go eat your elephant. Please let me know in the comments how did it go.